Thursday, March 27, 2008

Guarana and Me

Once in a while I like to drink those vitamin water bottles from the gas station. You know, the ones with the neon labels neatly wrapped around contoured plastic bottles, lined up in a perfect rainbow of freezer-case goodness; each color competing against the next for my attention and adoption, as if to say, "pick me, pick me"! Today yellow (Tropical Citrus) won over orange (some Mango nonsense) and some very unnatural looking cloudy-pink syrup.

I drank it at about 1:00 in the afternoon. I had a busy day about halfway taken care of, and it seemed to me that it was all smooth sailing from here on out. This morning I had completed a photo shoot of some construction products, met with a client, and then picked up the ill-fated jet-fuel on the way back to the studio.


I got back to my computer, did a couple website updates, checked my email, and made some phone calls. I was talking to a client when I noticed I was talking fast. Really fast. And wait, why is my right leg twitching? I looked up to see it was about 3:00. I awoke this morning at about 5:00 am, and the afternoon is normally the time of day when my eyelids start to feel a bit heavy, but today I was still going strong. I looked down at the plastic bottle of death next to my keyboard and saw, printed in trendy little letters running up the side of the empty bottle,
"ENERGY (B + GUARANA)".


It is now currently 11:00 pm, exactly 10 hours after drinking 20 ounces of this liquid-crack in a lemonade costume, and I'm still twitching like a frightened poodle.


I wish I knew yoga or something.

I know many of you are saying, "You shouldn't use those plastic bottles anyway, they don't break down for something like eight-bazillion years." I know, I know. I saw on Discovery Channel the other day that a company in Ouray, CO is using plastic bottles out of corn starch, so maybe we're not completely doomed just yet. I (all joking aside) am concerned about our environment. Earth Hour is in less than two days, and I've just destroyed my "green" image with this post
. I try to justify it to my conscience by re-filling the bottle with water from the tap a few times, but I haven't really fooled anyone - this bottle will still be resting on the surface of the earth long after even the cockroaches have been wiped out. Maybe through my consumption of this uninvited stimulant, I've learned a lesson. As far as the contents of the bottle, I'm fairly sure you could convert any automobile to run on this ridiculous concoction without too much trouble at all.

Energy crisis solved.


.

8 comments:

sky said...

Hahahahaha, OH MY!!!! I had to laugh very loudly at this post, (twitching poodle he says) ahahahahaha, I can picture that!

I do a variety of physical balancing work-outs daily including yoga I would have shown you a few easy moves Scott , seriously were I closer (you know it's a distance thing my dear ;0)

BUT then I'm afraid someone would have put you on you-tube, and it would be the "Scott Carlin twitchin poodle, freaky yoga show or something) ha ha.

Earth hour was AWESOME there were beeswax candles lit all over my cabin and I had a teenage girl staying here till sunday night from thursday, I read a book by candlight and once in a while the wolves would sing a song to add to the mood.

I can't say I drink those vitamin drinks since I take various herbal supplements anyways daily, I did have an energy drink once while taking a trip from *down under* (You know the place where it gets REALLY hot and souls are screaming! yeah that down under) this winter and it was so many But I was desperate, hours upon hours of driving to another province and then straight back home again. Because I dont even drink coffee, I took one of those drinks, and my goodness lets just say I am glad noone put me on youtube!

People should not have cameras around other people who take a drink from those things!

metta
sky

Scott said...

Sky, you have made my morning! As you may have noticed I've just recently started posting regularly to my blog. This was my first attempt at humor writing, and I wasn't sure about it, but if I made you chuckle, my purpose is fulfilled!

And, yes, this experience has concluded in my decision not to buy plastic bottle vitmain and juice drinks, both because of my racing heartbeat, and because of the environmental impact.

Thanks for reading...

RainforestRobin said...

AAWWW, "SHOOT!". I feel like I know you...I'm laughing so hard. I just love this: the poodle, the enviro. image down the drain, the neon-drink-run automoblies, the wired state from liguid-crack. Oh maaaan. WONDERFUL writing. Where have you been??? We need some humor at least once in awhile. This post just made my day! Full of life, honestly, humor, intelligence and more. I'm impressed. : ) You go dude and take no prisoners!!! : )

Scott said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Fearless Blog said...

Rainforest Robin recommended I stop by and check out this post. It was well worth the visit. :)
So where can I get some of this Guarana Power Take me to the Moon and Back drink?

It does not take much to get me going, heck I am always going, but when 3:30-4:00 pm rolls around I need my power nap. Oh yes!

Maybe I can skip on the nap if I could just find this magic drink. lol :) Great post.

Scott said...

Hi Fearless, thanks! I'll have to thank Robin for being my blog ambassador! The drink in discussion is called Vitamin Water... good luck with that!

Henry Jennings said...

Thanks for linking this on BlogCatalog; I would have missed it otherwise -- awesome post; you are a fine writer and that was very very funny.

Course now I have to bang around all over your blog and see what else I missed... ;)

Scott said...

Thanks Henry! I appreciate it a lot...